Relationships and mental health: Dealing with a divorce or break-up – Deccan Chronicle

Traditionally, the measure of an individual’s success in personal life has been their ability to have a stable and happy marriage and relationships. Even with today’s changing cultural norms and a transition towards higher tolerance and acceptance; break-ups and divorce are still frowned upon. This often makes the couple going through it, the subjects of intense public scrutiny and pressure; not to mention the bearer of tons of unsolicited advice, social verdicts and unfair tags.

It is not surprising therefore that the period of divorce and break-up becomes one of the most stressful transitions in a person’s life and may often serve as a trigger for the precipitation of serious mental illnesses such as Depression, Anxiety, Alcohol abuse and even Schizophrenia. There is often a huge blow dealt to the person’s self-esteem and self-confidence. The sense of betrayal experienced by the individual may become a permanent schema; impairing the person’s ability to trust others. This is of critical importance as the lack of trust can serve as a form of self-sabotage for any future relationship and chance of happiness that the person may have.    


The sense of helplessness, hopelessness and social isolation felt, can even precipitate thoughts of self-harm in some. Dr Kedar Tilwe, Psychiatrist & Sexologist, SL Raheja Hospital, Mahim – A Fortis Associate share some of the ways and means available at our disposal to help cope with.

Divorce and break-up

It may sound like a cliché but it really is very difficult to look forward to a happy future when you are stuck in the past. The self-doubts and insecurities which plagued your current relationship need to be acknowledged and dealt with in a healthy way so that it allows you a sense of closure. Sometimes this need for closure is all that one requires for moving on.

Talking things through with your partner in a secure, non-judgmental environment helps. However if that is difficult, then one can always take the aid of couples-counselling to smoothen this process

Accessing the services of a support group or helpline to aid during this time is also one of the options available to cope with the transition

Learning to re-direct your frustration, resentment and anger in a constructive manner is of key importance. So use the time available to develop a skill, take up a new sport, and rediscover an old hobby or simply to boost your work!

Our closest family and friends are always there for us and serve as our natural supports, provided you reach out to them

Remember that un-muting yourself about your suffering and reaching out to people is the first and often the only step required to gain the assistance necessary and towards healing yourself!

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